


Helping Hands

by Lirry_loves_Ziall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, F/M, I PROMISE ITS NOT ALL BAD, Multi, Past Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1427524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lirry_loves_Ziall/pseuds/Lirry_loves_Ziall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Our eyes locked on each other.  I could see a smoke of grey start to control his body as he looked at me.  His shoulders began to tense as he turned his whole body towards us. It was like he was talking to me through his eyes, almost saying he knew.  I tried to move my eyes to the ground, but I couldn’t.  I could hear my friends saying something to me but I didn’t respond. I finally managed to shift my head to the left, my eyes finding a spot on the ground.  I could still feel his gaze on me."</p><p>Or the one where Louis is dark and brooding and shit happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Helping Hands

It gets easier after a while. You tend to only wear long sleeve shirts, your closet hold more sweaters than anything, you ramble on about how you hate your legs so you only have to wear pants, never shorts. _Hiding._ It becomes second nature to you. You start to learn how to hide everything. I could probably be a professional make-up artist if I wanted to. It rarely happened to my face, as it’s the one place that’s hard to conceal, but when it does, hiding becomes a skill. _Lying._ The more excuses you tell, the more your friends start to believe. I couldn’t tell you when they stopped asking. I can’t really tell you when I started not to care. They never asked, and I never talked. There were some days where I would wear a t-shirt just to see their reactions. I got a couple of stares, but mostly no one wanted to ask. You are probably wondering why, why does she put up with it? Growing up, always being told you’re not pretty enough, not special enough, not beautiful enough, not smart enough, _not enough_. You tell a story and no one listens, you cry and no one hears. Single, alone, sad, pathetic. That what I am, or was. 

He was my everything, my world, my heart, actually no, he is. Two years and he still loves me. Who could have thought? A man, love me? One so strong, tall, muscular and manly. Looks to an average, freckled, red head, who was never good enough. How he found it in his heart to love a girl like me, I`ll never understand. Somehow he saw past the flaws, the mess, and the attitude, but he did. I fell, hard and fast. He protected me, held me, loved me. The tears don’t matter as much when someone shows his love in other ways.

~*~

“Okay so this guy is hot, like really hot. The damaged puppy dog type,” I heard my friend, Kam, say as I sat down on the couches next to her. “I think I’m going to like this law class,” she laughed. We were all seated in our normal spot on the couches. We always met there during our breaks. Kam and I were joined by Cat, one of my closest friends, Eleanor, our casual acquaintance, Zayn, Liam’s best mate, Kam’s boyfriend Harry, and Niall, Cat’s boyfriend. As much as I loved them all, I could never tell them the truth. Cat used to always be the one asking questions, but it quickly changed when I pulled further away. They all loved Liam, he was the glue in our group; our protector at times, our study guide, and our friend. Even if I wanted to tell them, they would never believe me. 

“Look there he is!” Kam squealed motioning past us to the figure standing in the Quiznoes line. 

He wore black skinny jeans that hugged so perfectly to the contours of his body. He had on a loose white, plain t-shirt which showed off his multiple tattoos. You could easily get lost in each one. The sparrow on his right forearm could represent almost anything but I could sense it was meant to be freeing. Above the sparrow sat a dear head with a heart lying between the antlers. I had a few tattoos of my own, so I can tell when one is a cover up, which is what the heart was. Moving my eyes, they rested on a tattoo that crossed his chest in handwritten style, “It is what it is”. Each tattoo looked like it had a deeper meaning, pulling me in deeper into my thoughts. He wore a red beanie with his dark brown hair spilling out of it. A dark cloud seemed to loom over his head as he took each step forward. _A story hidden in ink_ , I thought to myself.

“His name is Louis,” Kam said, snapping me from my thoughts. It was almost as if he knew what we were talking about. As soon as Kam said his name he looked over at us.

Our eyes locked on each other. I could see a smoke of grey start to control his body as he looked at me. His shoulders began to tense as he turned his whole body towards us. It was like he was talking to me through his eyes, almost saying he knew. I tried to move my eyes to the ground, but I couldn’t. I could hear my friends saying something to me but I didn’t respond. I finally managed to shift my head to the left, my eyes finding a spot on the ground. I could still feel his gaze on me. 

“I have to go,” I said getting up from the couch. “Don’t want to leave Liam waiting,” I smiled at the friends I left behind and headed for the parking lot.

 

The cool September air sent shivers down my spine as I waited by Liam’s black ford truck. The leaves were slowly falling to the ground, letting us all know fall was near. My hair flew from my face with every soft blow of the wind. I crossed my arms, pulling my grandfather’s old cardigan closer to my body. Closing my eyes I could almost feel the world disappear. The sun and wind control me, I could swear I felt the world start to shift as I let my thoughts trail. I knew no one would ever love me like Liam, but what if someone was there, who loved me more. My bangs flew in front of my face as I went deeper into my thoughts. 

“Secrets always come out…” I heard a husky voice from behind, startling me and pulling me from my thoughts. 

“Excuse me?” I said turning to meet those brown eyes from the caff.

“They never stay buried.” His British accent was thick. I couldn’t help but wonder why he would to come to this little town.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do. It’s written all across your face. Lies, secrets, pain. It will all come out.”

How did he know me, this. How could he tell. “Who are you?”

“Someone who sees what others can’t,” he said.

“Well, this is a little creepy, and since I don’t live in a movie, I’m going to ignore you,” I said turning my back to him.

“Isn’t that what got you here in the first place? Ignoring the problem?” I looked at him stunned, was this conversation really happening?

“Can I help you?” Liam said appearing at my side, glaring at Louis.

“No,” Louis said tuning to leave.

Liam and I climbed into his truck, looking quite mad he turned to me. “Who was that,” he demanded.

“Some new guy Kam has a crush on.”

“Well, he better stay away from you, understand me?” he said, grabbing hold of my chin and forcing me to look at him. “Understand?”

“Yes,” I tried to hide my eyes, I didn’t want to make him more upset with my tears.

~*~

I don’t know how he knew, about any of it. How he knew I was in trouble, that I was alone, where I lived, or even who I was. I wish I knew how he knew, I don’t even know how I got here. You could say it was like a fast moving picture. I was on the floor, crying, my lip bleeding, my heart breaking. Then he came. The door to the small house I shared with my mother flew open, and Louis stood there. After that it was a blur. I don’t even remember going to the hospital. But here I sit, on a patient’s bed waiting for the doctor to stitch up my lip. I can see the cops from outside the door, huddled and talking quietly. Louis and Liam were nowhere to be seen. I was alone again, I probably always will be. What am I supposed to say to my friends? To my mom? The truth? What is the truth? Louis brought me here, there is no one who saw what Bryan did. Whatever I say has no facts to back it up.

~*~

“Wow, why do you always lie! Do you not know how to actually be a person?” I told Kam what had happened, hoping shed believe me and help me when our friends found out. I wanted to run and tell Cat, but she was off visiting Niall’s family in Dublin. She always said Irish accents were her weakness, you never knew how more true a statement could be.

“I’m not lying!” I screamed, beyond angry, I knew she’d have trouble believing me, but I still thought she’d stick by me.

“Liam told me all about your claims! You fell down the stairs! Stop lying!”

“Aren’t friends supposed to have each other’s backs!” I spat back.

“Not when they throw another friend under the bus with no proof!”

“Go to hell!” As soon as the words left my lips I wanted to take them back. I knew lost her.

~*~

I just wanted to run and hide, do what I always do and try to escape. Louis found me sitting outside at a nearby park. I was sitting on the swing, letting my feet dangle down as I replayed  
the conversation in my head. Why did I have to yell at her? Of course it won’t help at all, yelling only ever makes things worse. But then again, she should have believed me.

“How did it go?” Louis asked taking a seat next to me.

“How do you think?” I replied a little too sharply. 

“Did you honestly think it would end okay?”

“She’s my friend!”

“Who can’t imagine one of her closest friends hurting another.” His voice was soft and warm.

“So instead, she blames me! Puts it all on me!” I was trying so hard to hold back the tears.

“It’s always been on you,” I shot him a glare. “You are the one that stayed, the one that made excuses. So what? Now that it’s out in the open you what to play the victim and hate on  
people for not caring?” He was right though, now is when I chose to fight. How is that fair?

“What makes you an expert?” I said holding back tears.

“If you want to be fair, then maybe you should start with yourself.” His eyes were solid, no bullshit peeking through. 

“What are you talking about?” He pulled out a card from his back pocket and handed it to me.

“Dr. Lydecker. Who is he?”

“Someone you can talk to.”

“I don’t need professional help! You don’t know me, okay? I am just fine on my own. So until you tell me why you think you know, I’m done.” I said getting up to walk away.

“Think about it,” was all I heard as I left the park.

~*~

I walk the halls of campus with my head down now. I know not everyone knows, or even cares, but I still feel like there are eyes on me everywhere I go. I found a new spot to sit, a place to be alone with no one to judge me. I go there almost every day now, alone with my music blared high and I let myself get lost for even a few moments.

“Sitting alone again?” Louis asked taking a seat on the grass next to me.

“What do you want?”

“To talk.”

“Okay, tell me how you knew.”

He turned his head away, breathing in sharply. “Next question.”

“No! You want to talk? Then answer me.” 

“Caley, it doesn’t matter. What matters is you talking to someone.”

“Why do you keep pressuring me to?”

“Why don’t you go?” I could tell he was holding something back.

“Because I’m fine on my own,” I replied. 

“No you’re not. I can see it on your face you are holding it all in. If you won’t talk to a professional, how about a friend?”

“Because that worked out so well last time.” If I pressed hard enough maybe he would let me in, tell me what he was hiding. “Before you came around I was fine you know. I had friends, a boyfriend who loved me. He was getting frustrated.

“He didn’t love you! He abused you! He never loved you! You were his punching bag! A little bitch he could toss around, and he knew you would never leave him because you’re too fucking insecure. “Just look at you! Instead of fighting for yourself you sit here blaming others! You were the one who didn’t walk away! You were the one who didn’t stop it! You sat by and let it happen! Own up to it! Stop blaming others for your own fuck ups!” He got up and stormed off. I knew he was right, and part of me wanted to make him angry. But I still wasn’t prepaid for that. I spent the rest of my break trying to pull myself together and hold back the tears.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SO SORRY LIAM FOR THAT!!!!!!! I wrote this awhile ago and finally posted it. I've been iffy on sharing it but yeah, hope you don;t hate it too bad. This is only part one, I'll post two later this week.
> 
> xoxo.


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